THE ROD OF DISCIPLINE

Proverbs 22.6
THE ROD OF DISCIPLINE
"Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it."

PROVERBS IS, WITHOUT APOLOGY, AN advocate of the philosophy behind "Spare the rod and spoil the child." In fact, this saying is embodied in its ancient source: "He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him" (13.24).

In our times, parents are apparently reluctant to discipline their children. This reluctance is attributed by some to the fact that most families today (at least in affluent nations) have only one or two children. Hence, each is "precious" and consequently given everything he or she wants. In such circumstances, there is every risk of a child growing up to be a spoilt brat.

Solomon's counsel here is therefore an urgent piece of advice. We are to "train a child in the way he should go." This means firstly that a child will not go the way he should go unless he is trained or disciplined to do so. "Folly is bound up in the heart of a child", and it takes the rod of discipline to "drive it far from him" (22.15). That is why "a child left to himself disgraces his mother" (29.15).

A child inherits the sinful nature of his first parents. Adam and Eve by their sin passed on the inclination to sin to all mankind. I remember my shock when my daughter told her first deliberate lie. We had never taught her to lie; on the contrary, we had always taught to tell the truth. We learnt that children need not be taught to sin, for the sinful nature is inborn in them. A child does not naturally learn good. He needs training.

Secondly, we need to do it while he is still a child. It gets harder and harder to change a person as he grows older. And if you have a child, you will know how quickly he grows. It does not seem very long ago that I witnessed the birth of my older daughter. In the twinkling of the eye, she has become a teenager! As a youth worker once warned, "If we don't win their hearts today, they will break our hearts tomorrow."

The reward of responsible child discipline is this: that the efforts of those early years will last a lifetime. As the twig is bent, so will the tree grow. Francis Xavier said, "Give me a child for the first seven years, and you may do what you like with him afterwards." Let us recognise the profound truth of this statement which accords with the wisdom of Proverbs.

Do I spare the rod and spoil the child?